We’ve all had that moment when we hear some unpleasant news, devastating diagnosis or faced a tough choice suddenly. At that moment, we need to grasp a greater awareness of what just happened. We’re not sure how to deal with the situation at hand and need time to process it. So take that time and “feel” your grief or sadness.
However, if you find yourself stuck and not moving on, I’d like to share something that’s worked for me and others. [add link above – here?]
Recently my daughter who has dealt with a chronic illness for 11 years, was told that she could no longer put off a serious surgery. While it will eventually will restore her health, she will have 6 very difficult months before she will be able to go back to living a “normal” life. [For her privacy, I won’t share the details].
When I heard this news, it was very upsetting and, of course, being her mom it created a sense of panic about how all this is really going to turn out. After a few very sad days of worrying about the “what if’s, what about, and on and on” with scary thoughts of bad outcomes, I decided I didn’t want to focus my energy on the negative things that might happen.
I shifted my thoughts [scripted my healthy version of her] to seeing her totally better, enjoying her life, doing things that she hasn’t been able to do. I set a few minutes aside each day to send her healing thoughts and just sit with thinking about how good life will be for her when this is over and she can do things like make a decision to have a baby…if she chooses to do so, travel more, enjoy foods that she hasn’t been about to eat, etc.
Here’s how I do this:
- When random thoughts show up, I immediately go to my scripted “vision” of her improved health. I practice it daily too.
- Visualize her enjoying activities that bring her enjoyment and pleasure.
- Recall the joyful times of her birth, other amazing events that connected us in heartfelt moments where she was happy and healthy.
- Spend a few minutes doing this and then move on.
- When I see her, I hug her and treat her with a greater kindness that reminds me of how much she means to me.
- Celebrate every day…now and the future ones we’ll share.
I hope you find this helpful if or when you have a difficult situation to deal with and decide that, while you don’t have control over the problems, you do have control over how you think about it and the choice is yours. Choose wisely!